food for thought

Last week I was in the office kitchen at about 3 p.m. preparing my afternoon snack (I bring morning and afternoon snacks, plus lunch, with me to work). It was a stalk of celery with some Laughing Cow light garlic & herb cheese spread on it -- rather tasty. One of my male co-workers walked in and said, "Celery, huh?"

"Yep," I replied.

"Is that, like, your lunch?"

I laughed. "Um, no. I ate my lunch about three hours ago. This is just my afternoon, hungry-but-not-hungry-enough-to-eat-a-full-meal snack," I explained.

He looked at me like he didn't believe me.

Now, I understand that some women have issues with food. I probably fall into that category. And although I'm not fat, I don't exactly look like a woman who eats nothing but a stalk of celery for lunch. At least I hope I don't. I've always eaten pretty much whatever I want, whenever I want (that is my food issue). I remember one time in college going on a ... well, it wasn't exactly a date, but I went out to dinner with a friend of mine and his neighbor, who was captain of the Mizzou football team and with whom I entertained a brief fling (very brief). We went to Chili's, I ordered the grilled shrimp alfredo and proceeded to eat the entire plate of pasta, cream sauce and shrimp right in front of these boys.

Football Player was flabbergasted. When they put my plate down, he said, "Are you gonna eat that whole thing?" I looked at him like it was a stupid question, which it was, and said, "Yes." And then I did. And he marveled like he'd never seen a girl eat an entire plate of food before. Maybe he hadn't. I still remember to this day how shocked he was at my appetite.

Point being, no, I do not eat just celery. Or just grapefruit. Or just anything. I make it a priority in my life to eat a balanced diet, which means carbs and fats are most definitely included.

Anyway, this morning I went to breakfast with Damon and I ordered a black bean burrito (black beans, potatoes and optional scrambled eggs, smothered with green chili. Bombtastic). I asked for scrambled eggs but instead of actual scrambled eggs, I wanted Simply Eggs. My doctor said to eat only one egg a week, so I figure no eggs a week has got to be better than one. Our waitress was an older, motherly type. She said, "You're a little young to be ordering the Simply Eggs."

"I have cholesterol issues," I explained, not really wanting to detail those issues further.

The food came and it was really good; they had given me about half a plate of iceberg lettuce and tomato to eat with my burrito if I so chose. I don't like iceberg lettuce. I'm a lettuce snob. Spring mix, romaine, baby spinach? All good. Iceberg? Good for nothing but fiber, really, and I don't eat anything that is only useful for one of your dietary needs. Or I try not to. I get plenty of fiber in my diet; I don't need to eat a nutritionally void lettuce to up my fiber intake.

Waitress comes back and says, "You know, eating some of that lettuce would help with your cholesterol." I kind of laugh and say yeah, I know. Then I ask for a box. I put only the burrito in the box. When she's clearing my plate, she remarks again that I left all the iceberg on the plate. I said that I didn't really enjoy iceberg lettuce but I do manage to eat one big salad a day (true), so I was good on that.

And then again when we're paying the bill, she says, "She ordered Simply Eggs but put everything but the lettuce in her take-away box."

Funny what people will comment on when it comes to what you put in your mouth. They comment if it's not enough (in their mind): celery boy. They comment if it's too much (in their mind): shrimp alfredo boy. They comment if it's not correct (in their mind): iceberg lettuce waitress.