Am I Mean, Or Just Honest?

I was talking to my BFF Rachel the other day, and she informed me that one of our mutual friends back in CoMo is getting married to her long-term boyfriend.

"Oh," I said. "How's he doing?" (Let's call him Joe for the purpose of this exercise, and she can be Jane, although anyone from the CoMo area who ran with the same Chili's crew as I did will be able to recognize both Joe/Jane and the other couple I'm about to discuss.)

And the reason for me asking how Joe was doing is because Joe was released from prison a couple of years ago. Jane was dating him before he went in and continued to visit him and keep their relationship alive while he was in. But another reason I asked is because I heard, from a very reliable source, that Joe has a tendency to beat the shit out of Jane for no apparent reason. It's not something Jane likes to talk about, for obvious reasons, and it was something she apparently hid very well, judging by the continuation of my conversation wtih Rach:

"He's doing really well, actually," she tells me.

"Oh, that's good," I say. "Has he stopped beating the shit out of her yet?"

Pause. "Oh. Um. I didn't know that was a problem," she tells me.

Then I feel kind of bad, because this was following on the heels of another conversation about another Chili's CoMo couple. Let's call them Josh and Janet. Josh and Janet have been married for a few years and they have a kid together. Josh has been having some pretty serious health problems lately.

And some more background on Janet/Josh: I was working with both of them when they first started dating, and I didn't think it was going to last -- I still think she was kinda stupid to marry him. First, because he comes from a country outside the U.S., and a man who comes from the same small town as Josh used to work with Damon, and he told Damon once that Josh has a wife, kids, entire family back where he's from. There was really no reason for that dude to tell a complete lie about Josh. Second, he was such a player. He used to come up to me all the time, because I can hold a conversation in his native language, and he would say things like, "You are the most intelligent, beautiful girl I have ever seen." "Your eyes are gorgeous." "You are the most beautiful girl here." "You are so smart, I've never met anyone as smart as you." Ad nauseum. You get the idea. When he would turn on the charm, I would say, "But, Josh, what about Janet?" And he would reply, "Who's Janet?" I lost a lot of respect for him over that. But it didn't stop him; he would do that shit ALL THE TIME until he and Janet finally got married.

And one time when Rachel was back in CoMo visiting, he tried to kiss her while Janet was at work. Same, smooth style: "You are so beautiful, you could have any man you wanted," blah blah blah. This was while he was married to Janet, incidentally, and after their kid was born.

Anyway! Earlier in my conversation with Rachel, she said, "I finally talked to Janet again, I haven't heard from her in months, it sounds like Josh is doing really well and his condition has entirely cleared up."

"That's good," I said. Then: "I wonder if he's cheated on her yet." (I think he definitely has -- and if he hasn't, it's because the girls he's tried it with have been too smart to fall for his lines.)

So after I told Rachel about Jane and Joe and how Joe likes to hit Jane, I started to feel bad, as in judgemental. Why can't I just be happy that Jane and Joe are getting married? Why can't I just be happy that Josh seems to be better?

Is it because I'm a bitch?

Or is it because I'm not swallowing the sugar coating they put on their relationships?

Beats me.