One of those moments ...

I had a flashback today. (Not a fun one, though, so get your mind off that drug-addled track!) For some reason I started thinking about the day I found out my dad had died ... most of that day, as you might imagine, is pretty fuzzy for me. I was dazed. But there are a few moments out of that day that stand out crystal-clear. It's odd thinking back on it, like swimming in a sea of salty, briny water and suddenly being struck in the face with a freshwater current.

What I remembered today was calling my dad's friend to tell him the news. I don't remember dialing the phone number or even who answered the phone, maybe I left a message and he called me back ... I really don't recall. But I do remember the conversation we had. I told him we had some bad news and said, "You know Dad's in Australia right now ... well, he had another heart attack."

"So what's his status?" this friend asked. "Is he okay?"

"No," I said, but that's all I could get out. I could not for the life of me come up with the words. I thought about trying to break it to him gently, which by itself was ironic -- him, old enough to be my dad, literally, and me trying to be gentle. "He's dead," I think is what I finally said, although "said" is too strong a verb, really, for what came out of my mouth. More like, "choked," "gasped" or "whispered."

It was surreal. And it reminds me that life is not fair. It's not fair that I had to make that phone call and say those things. It's not fair that the stock market crashed today (well, almost). Life ain't fair. But you know, it's still pretty good.

Yesterday, I had a good moment. I was leaving work and the general manager said he had to do my employee evaluation. I was like, "Okay, let's set up a time," and he said, "Actually, all I really wanted to say to you is that you're awesome. I wish all our employees were like you. I wish you worked more than once a week. And I would kick anyone off their shift if you wanted it so we could have you work."

Nice.