Biggest Loser Recap

Last night was the second episode of the new season of Biggest Loser. By week two, I generally don't know yet whom I want to win the final $250,000 prize -- or even the $100,000 take-home prize. But I have an idea of my favorite players and whom I'm starting to seriously dislike. I have to revise my favorites throughout the season ... take last season for example: I wanted Colleen to win the grand prize. (Or maybe she spells her name Coleen. I'm not sure. But she was the one I thought should win it all.) When she was eliminated, Michelle and her mom, Renee, became my two favorites, almost by default. Yes, they were sweet, sweet ladies -- but my main motivation was that I really, really, REALLY didn't want either of those bitches (aka Heba and Vicki) anywhere near the $250,000 prize. They sucked. I hated them almost from the very beginning, when Heba started being all bossy and Vicki started being all bitchy. I even felt sorry for Heba during the first few weeks! I mean, with a name like Heba, you're really set up to be fat. It's not her fault. But it is her fault that she is mean as a snake! (I know most snakes aren't really mean. But in my world, they are.)

So this week, I cemented my relationship with a couple of people I knew had the potential to be favorites, started garnering some serious dislike for one person, and had to say goodbye to someone who wasn't exactly a favorite but whom I wanted to see do well on the show. Let's start with the favorites: Tara (green team) and Dan (orange team). Tara is an ass-kicker. She carried green team to second place in the challenge last week, and she won the challenge this week -- which involved kayaking across a huge bay and then racing up a mountain. A small mountain, but still. I would have been exhausted, but she managed to beat the black team's Blaine, who is arguably the strongest competitor (next to Tara, of course). She and her teammate are former models who both gained a bunch of weight. Dan, unfortunately, came in last, which means he added a one-pound penalty to his final weight at the weigh-in. I like Dan; I want him to do well. He is an immense teenager (19, I think) and had a lot of trouble paddling the kayak because he is just so big, but he made it to the top of the mountain. I was proud of him. I hope he gets to stay till the end, I think he has the potential to make huge changes.

I should stop here and explain the twist of last week, because it's pertinent. Last week, the black team won immunity in the challenge, and the brown team had the highest percentage of weight lost, so they were both immune from this twist. Every remaining team had to send one member home. In thirty days, if the team member who stayed is still at the ranch, their partner will get to come back on the ranch. So this means every team except for black and brown only has one member on the ranch right now.

So, it made sense that Tara stayed, because her former-model best friend was kind of a wimp. It was her fault they lost the challenge last week. And Tara, as mentioned earlier, is an animal. If she gets kicked off, it will be because she had freakishly low weight loss (which she did this week, 2 pounds! Lucky she had immunity!) and people are afraid of how she's going to advance.

Every other group's split-up last week made sense, too, except for the silver team. They were best friends, Carla and Joelle. Carla is significantly bigger than Joelle, and she also seemed to have more drive, so it would have made sense for her to stay; I remember noticing that last week. It obviously was an argumentative decision they made to have Joelle stay, because Carla said something to the effect of: This is putting our friendship on the line. If she gets sent home, trouble will abound.

This week, Joelle did not impress anyone. She told Bob straight up that she doesn't mind the diet part but hates exercise. Bob tried to get her to understand that it's part of a package deal, you have to have all of the elements of weight loss to be truly successful at it. A very Zen speech. And Joelle seemed to understand ... until you see her in the gym and notice that she refuses to do a real push-up. I can't even explain what she was doing, really ... she had her hands and knees on the floor, in kind of a box shape, and was bending her arms and bringing her head to the floor, not her chest. It was weird. And Bob kept trying to explain to her that she was doing it wrong ... and she would nod and then continue her fake push-ups, looking around to see if Bob was noticing that she was cheating.

She also refused to sprint full-out for thirty seconds, which made Bob completely lose his mind. It was a little hilarious, to be honest ... Bob is the sweet (but tough ... but not as tough as Jillian) trainer, and he (as he said later) became Jillian Michaels for several minutes. He was screaming at Joelle at the top of his lungs. He finally, after I-don't-know-how-many tries, got her to sprint for thirty seconds. "Thank you!"

She also was the only one tempted by the temptation -- $25,000 if she would leave the ranch, effective immediately. Which would mean Carla never got to come back.

I was surprised at Joelle, honestly. Carla doesn't seem like the kind of woman I would mess with. I wouldn't want her mad at me. And I can imagine she was beyond pissed at Joelle.

Anyway. This is getting long. What happened at the weigh-in was: Dan (with his one-pound penalty) and Jerry fell below the yellow line. Jerry is part of the oldest couple that Biggest Loser has ever had on the show. I like him. He has got some serious health problems and really does need to be there. Joelle was right behind them; barely safe. Just above the yellow line. I was pissed. I do want Carla to come back -- I like Carla -- but Joelle doesn't even want to be there, it seems like! She almost went home for $25,000! And for Jerry and Dan, the two players who NEED to be on that ranch the most, to fall below, was worst-case scenario.

Jerry ended up getting sent home. I was sad for him, but also happy for Dan. All of the players said what I was thinking: Nobody wants Dan to become Jerry. And Jerry has his wife and kids at home to support him; Dan is nineteen. And both he and his wife, Estella, look fah-bulous, dahling!

We'll see if Joelle picks up the pace next week. I certainly hope so!

Biggest Winner

Last night, Michelle won the Biggest Loser competition. I was so happy for her -- especially because I really, really, REALLY didn't want either Heba or Vicki to win. Those two connivers were so manipulative and almost had the final three down to what they wanted ... ha, ha, America decided, and Heba didn't get to be in the final three. Which was kinda funny, because last week I was on pins and needles ... I knew that we would get to vote the third contestant in because I'd been watching the commercials, and I was ready to flood NBC with votes for Michelle. But then it came down to Ed and Heba. Heba said, "Vote for me." Ed said, "Vote for Heba."

And you know who America decided to send into the final three, by a landslide decision of 85 percent? Ed.

I didn't even bother voting, because I was just happy Michelle got into the final three ... and I also thought that, as bitchy and rude as Heba was throughout the season, it might make her pretty sad if she realized that most of America hates her. So I didn't go down that road. But plenty of other people did!

And really, what I think did it for Michelle is her youth. Ed and Vicki didn't have a chance against her once she really started going. She looks hawt. I'm so happy for her!

And ... the new season starts January 6. This is just perfect as far as I'm concerned: I'm working for the next week (about), then I get time off for Christmas, then I'm going on vacation, and when I get back, a brand-new season will be all ready for me to watch. Thanks, NBC!

ALI WON!!!

I have been watching The Biggest Loser all season. This show is my secret passion; I get sad when I miss it. My favorite contestant is Ali Vincent (I liked Brittany Aberle a lot, too). Ali got eliminated (I think at Week Four) but came back in a surprise twist; they allowed one eliminated woman and one eliminated man back on the show, and Ali got it.

And she freakin' won the whole thing last night!!!

She lost 112 pounds, 47.86 percent of her body weight. That's amazing!

She is the first female Biggest Loser.

It was awesome watching the finale -- first to see all the transformations people made in six months. Six months! Most of them looked like completely different people. And second to see Ali win it all. I was rooting for her to win. When she got eliminated, she blurted out, "I'm the Biggest Loser." At the time it seemed wishful thinking. But no! She really is!!

I was so proud of her. It was funny -- I really felt this swelling of pride in my chest, like Ali was my child and had just won this awesome prize. And the really great thing about the show is that even everyone who didn't win got the benefit of training by Bob and Jillian (two kick-ass trainers!) and learning about appropriate nutrition. Even the ones who didn't win look fantastic, which is a prize in and of itself (I'm corny).

Some people on some of the blogs are saying Ali took diet pills. She was off the ranch for a while and lost 33 pounds by herself; they're saying that we don't know what she did or didn't do, and it's unfair that they had her come back. Well, it was unfair that she was eliminated in the first place; she never once fell below the yellow line. It was a freak elimination. And all the contestants had at least six weeks at home by themselves. Anyone could have taken diet pills.

But I don't think she did. I think if you watch the show, and you see how hard she pushed herself and how determined she was to be the first female to win, you know that she didn't need diet pills. She's hot now, and she did it using the tried-and-true method. I think some people want to believe she used supplements because it's tough to lose weight like that the proper way. It's really, really difficult. I admire the hell out of anyone who can do it. And if people believe that Ali went from 234 pounds to 122 by using diet pills, that means they don't have to do all the hard work that Ali did to get to where she is. They can just pop a pill and eat whatever they want and not move their bodies and it will all be okay.

It's not about taking diet pills or even "going on a diet." It's about lifelong dietary changes. Lifestyle changes. I could take some medication to deal with the cholesterol issues I've inherited, or I could get off my butt and do something about it other than filling my body up with chemicals. Guess which way I'm going?

New season starts in October!