Funniest. Thing. Ever.

First, I'd like to apologize that spelling and grammar have fallen so by the wayside. That's what happens when you have, literally, no time to proofread.

Second, I'd like to be sad for a moment. I was supposed to go to this stationery store's grand opening tonight, and I can't, and stationery is my secret obsession. I love the stuff. Even though I never actually, you know, write letters.

Third -- I could get in trouble for this. But hopefully (probably) by the time our home computer is up and running again, this blog will no longer be visible to the naked eye. Or something.

So last night I'm laying on the couch with D, and we're both stretched out. I'm reading a book and he's asleep (but pretending not to be asleep). We're both kind of shifting and moving around, because it's not very comfortable, and then I notice that his balance is off and I look up. I watch him slowly (almost deliberately, if not for the whole asleep thing) fall to the floor. He wakes up and gets the most offended, grumpy look on his face -- the kind of look you usually don't see outside the faces of kids. And I can't help it; I start giggling. It's too, too funny.

"You pushed me off the couch!" he accuses.

"No," I tell him. "You were asleep. You slid off."

"You pushed me!" he insists.

"No," I repeat. "You don't even remember. You were asleep. I was watching you; I saw the whole thing."

So we engage in this long, pointless, bickering argument about whether I pushed him off the couch. I use exhibit a: my weight vs. his weight as my main argument, pointing out that if I actually were trying to push him off the couch (trying being the operative verb here), he would have woken up. He continues to insist and accuse me of pushing him until, finally, I start pinching him. Hard. On the soft insides of his arms. Because I figure if I'm going to be accused of doing something as mean as pushing someone off a couch, then I should at least get the satisfaction of actually doing something mean.

But the funny thing is, this morning he remembered the (baseless) accusations, and even apologized for him, but he didn't remember the pinching until I told him what I did and that he deserved it.

I really am a bitch sometimes.