what else is there to say?

I am continually astounded by the tendency to not use the English language as the Good Queen intended.

Granted, we are no longer a colony of England. But I really don't see any reason why, in text messaging (and slowly infiltrating e-mail), people need to use the letter "u" to indicate "you," which is only two more letters. Text-talk bugs me, probably more than anything else.

But really what astounds me is the Teenager these days. I have had to deal with a couple of these Teenagers, who generally contact me with requests to pick my brain about what it takes to become a Writer. And I didn't think it would be possible to be astounded by Teenagers, because I'm still closely related to one and see him on a regular basis.

However, I would like to just put this out there for any Teenagers who may be reading and want a little bit of advice: When you are exploring a career, and this career involves the communications industry, and more specifically, this career would require you to write, and to write well, and to write intelligently, and to use proper spelling/grammar/punctuation/capitalization, when necessary, then perhaps you should apply some of those skills in your communications. Wild idea, I know.

And yes, I realize that Hunter Thompson et. al. may have rocked the boat a little bit with New Journalism, but you don't want to be the person whom my editor refers to as "that one who can't spell" when she overhears me discussing possibilities with another editor.

Also, when you're meeting with someone who could help you in your upcoming career, it is best NOT to regale them with stories about how irresponsible you/your friends/your family members' significant others are. Or how you don't like rules or guidelines. You can be a rebel, but try to do it with ideas, not punctuation.

I do sympathize more than most; I was in the unenviable position of making a complete ass of myself while stuck in an interview a few months ago with a (luckily) freewheeling author of books about subversive ideas. I know what it's like to project a personality that does not shed the best light upon you, and to leave an interview thinking, "God, I was just SUCH an idiot just then!"

But please, Teenagers, please, please, please, for the love of all things holy -- speak properly and write properly if you want a job. For reals. It's not brain surgery, it's just common sense.

The Hunt Has Ended!

I moved back to Colorado more than two years ago and settled immediately in Morrison. The downsides of living in Morrison are the concert traffic in the summertime and the lack of food delivery.

Most places won't deliver food west of C-470, which is less than a mile away from my house. And leaving Columbia, which has tons of delivery options, for a place with none was definitely difficult. Picture it: You're at home, you're hungry, you don't want to cook, you don't want to leave the house. But those last two are mutually exclusive. Either you cook or you leave. No other options.

We had heard about a place that delivered, Guido's, but several Google searches yielded nothing. All seemed lost.

But then ... THEN ... while driving down Morrison Road one day, in between 470 and Kipling, I happened to look north while idling at a stoplight. There I spotted a Diamond Shamrock, which happens to hold Bank of America ATMs, which is a fee-less ATM for me, so I'm always on the lookout. And this one was the closest yet to my house.

Then, while frequenting said gas station when in need of cash, I noticed some businesses that might come in useful, like a Subway and a dry-cleaner and some place called Guido's.

Lo and behold, when D and I went to frequent Guido's, we discovered that this was the Guido's, our very own great white whale of delivery. Last night we had pizza delivered to the house (with garlic bread and tomato sauce). And it was awesome.

I feel like Captain Ahab when he finally encountered Moby Dick after his long, tireless search. Except instead of sinking my ship the Pequod and drowning the crew, Guido's brought me fresh, hot pizza, straight to my door, without me having to take a step outside my home.

things that are pissing me off right this very second

1. Clowns on the internet who think that racial slurs aren't racial if they don't use them racially. For example: "So-and-so is nothing more than a stupid n*****. And I don't mean that racially -- I call everyone who is stupid and low-class by that word."

Okay, moron, here's the thing: YOU might not think that word has racial connotations. But the last time I checked, 99.9% of people in this country DO think it has racial connotations. So, guess what? IT HAS RACIAL CONNOTATIONS. You can live in your own little bubble and make up your own little definitions, but that doesn't mean anyone else has to agree with you.

2. People who say they will do something, and then -- inexplicably -- fail to complete said task.

3. #2, but add excuses.

Rock Star

I've mentioned before in this blog that I don't have a CD player in the car I usually drive, so I have my programmed radio stations that cover pretty much every station I would possibly, remotely listen to.

On Alice (105.9 FM), they play that damn "Rock Star" song by Nickelback every hour, it seems like. I've heard bits and pieces of it so many times that I think I could sing the whole damn thing with no problem. I've listened to it all the way through once, maybe.

I suspect the song is an attempt at sarcasm, but Nickelback isn't as skilled as, say, Andre 3000 (I still get a kick out of listening to "Hey Ya" -- particularly the part where he says, "Y'all don't wanna hear me, you just wanna dance," because it's true. That song got so much radio play and I don't think 95 percent of the people singing along had any clue what they were singing). But unlike Outkast's music, I actively resent "Rock Star."

Because guess what? I DON'T want to be a big rock star, live in a hilltop house with fifteen cars, a bathroom I can play baseball in and a house on Cribs and all of that other tripe they discuss. I understand, with their references to golddiggers and drug abuse, that Nickelback is making a statement about the inanity of celebrity life. Or something. But really, it sounds more like glorification than condemnation, and I doubt there are many listeners out there who are applying critical thinking to their Nickelback.

Can't someone sing about the dissolution of the ego for a change?

Food for Thought

I've been reading The Power of Now, which is a very interesting tome (by Eckhart Tolle, in case you want to check it out from the library).

One of the things it talks about is watching your brain as it works. This sounds kinda weird, but it's interesting to see the results. For example: A friend of mine tells me some unwelcome news, and I start to feel sad, with the resultant physical results -- weird funny feeling in pit of stomach, sluggish brain, thoughts obsessively running in a little hamster-wheel contraption (in other words, following the same path over and over without getting anywhere).

It's weird. It's very odd to have feelings and then observe the feelings, because something happens immediately -- you begin to feel detached from those feelings and the thoughts that are causing them. Like, "Why did such-and-such make me feel like THAT?"

The idea is that by observing your thoughts, you become increasingly detached until you and your brain are clearly two distinct animals. This helps you tap into the vast power of life itself. Living in the moment, so to speak. And that's helpful because life is complicated enough without our big brains complicating things further.

I'm going home now.

Setting the Bar

Today was my first bar shift at Chili's Conifer ... I loved it. I absolutely love being behind the bar. It's my own little domain, I set it up in the morning the way I like it, nobody else comes back there and everything is right where I need it. Love it!! Here are some other pros of being behind the bar:

1. When I have nothing else to do, I'm expected to stand around and chat with my customers. Which I like to do anyway as a server, but never have time for.

2. No kids. I like kids when they're well-behaved, and when the parents are well-behaved, but let's face it ... how often does that happen? Exactly. So no kids is awesome.

3. I'm never REALLY all that bored ... I mean, it wasn't super busy today, but there are always dishes to wash, fruit to cut, things to clean. Occasionally drinks to make, beer to restock, kegs to change.

4. It pays well. It wasn't busy today, like I said, but I made $27 off six people, and that doesn't even include tipout. So I made as much money today as I would have on the floor, only I did less work and had more fun.

5. I'm working in Conifer, with windows on three sides of me, and it is absolute gorgeous, especially with a dusting of snow all around. What a view to have at work.

6. Ditto for the drive.

7. The money is fantastic for the amount of work I put in. I suppose it takes an extra level of skill to be a bartender and be able to multitask ... but ... seriously. I stand around and chat and make a few drinks and make as much as I do running my ass off as a server.

So now that's my Sunday shift. Yippee!

And a random thought about technology and music: My iPod is on the fritz right now. I may just have to get a new one -- it's old. And my car is old, too, it's a '93 Volvo that has a radio and a tape deck. As in cassette tape. I love my car, it's fantastic and classy and fun, but I have no CD player, and I don't even know where to buy blank cassette tapes. So I think it's kind of interesting how my car was musically bereft in the years after CD and before MP3. Once I get an iPod figured out, I can listen to my music in my car to my heart's content. Meanwhile, I have KGNU, with its spiritual and news programs, its reggae show on Saturdays from 1 to 3 and general good listening material.

I do need to get a speaker replaced in ol' Volvy, though. One of the back speakers is blown and crackles like crazy and drives me a little bit nuts sometimes.

Update

Just in case anyone needs to catch up on the happenings in my life ...

1. Saw Spamalot last week. It was highly amusing and I would recommend seeing it to any fan of Monty Python. There were references to other Python skits and movies, which were probably over most people's heads. I was also rather underdessed for the theater, I discovered -- nice jeans and a black velvet top and white Pumas are, apparently, not good enough. So now I know (it really HAS been a long time since I'd been to the Denver Center for the Performing Arts).

2. Then this weekend I went to the drive-in movie for the very first time ever! I know -- at the lofty old age of 26, I should have been taking more advantage of this wonderful feature of Denver. Sorry, people. I got to see Halloween (not as scary as the original) and Superbad (very funny). I wasn't expecting the kind of crowd that was there -- a little more ghetto than I thought it would be. Still a great time, complete with drag queens and a scary little concession stand selling questionable food. I hope it doesn't close next year -- I'd like to go again. Double features rule.

3. I will be leaving my post as a competent Sunday lunch worker at Chili's Applewood after October 7. I'm going to start driving to Conifer for my Sunday lunches, where they'll let me work the bar. I'm pretty excited about this development. Working behind the bar is a gajillion times more fun than on the floor, no one else gets to be back there so everything should be more or less in order, I get paid to do nothing but stand around and talk to my customers, and occasionally make a drink. Applewood was sad to see me go -- they even went so far as to ask if there was anything they could do to change my mind. Nope!

There's one server there who is one of those girls who has to find something bad in whatever it is you're doing. She reminds me of another Chili's girl from Columbia. So, for example, I tell her I'm leaving and she's like, "Does it ever get busy up there?" I told her at the moment it's a little slow, but once winter hits, people will not want to be driving down the mountain for their drinking and dining needs. Plus Conifer is the type of place where I can build up a clientele like the regulars we had in Columbia. Either way, it's better than working the floor on Sundays in Applewood. Then she's like, "Yeah -- except for the DRIVE." Um, hello? I live in Morrison. The drive is pretty much the same to both stores. She didn't really know what to say then; I'd taken the wind out of her "I-have-to-find-something-about-this-situation-that-you-don't-like" sails.

4. I love KGNU community radio (AM 1390). I like radio news. I like the music they play (seriously -- a three-hour reggae slot on Saturday? Sweet!). I've discovered some new artists since listening and it is now my favorite radio station, hands-down. I do, however, still enjoy Slacker and Steve on Alice 105.9 FM. Their afternoon show is pretty funny and very interesting to listen to, although I could do without their choice of music most of the time.

5. Lately there's been a lot out there about the power of thought (The Secret, What the Bleep do We Know). I think there is a balance at work here -- your thoughts don't entirely control the universe, but they do affect things beyond what most of us are willing to acknowledge. I find myself, in certain day-to-day interactions with people I don't like, thinking to myself, "Wow. I really don't like this person." I wonder if I were able to stop that vein of thinking, if I would feel more kindly toward these people.

Just food for thought (ha!)

past times

The more things change, the more they stay the same. Murry's is still yummy -- everything I eat there, I think, "this is the most delicious ____ I've ever had in my life." And it's always true.

Your friends who are real friends will stay that way.

Shady people are still shady.

And some people, you'll just never get.

bargains?

Driving to work this morning, I noticed there are already campers parked outside Sports Authority for the big winter sale, Sniagrab (that's bargains spelled backwards, for those of you who haven't heard/seen the ad).

Which begs the question: What do these people do for money that they can spend, literally, almost a week camping on the sidewalk outside the store, in search of the best deals? Sniagrab begins at 8 a.m. Saturday, so we're talking six full DAYS early to stake their place in line.

And: If they are well-off enough that they need not worry about earning money during these six days in which they will sit on the sidewalk, waiting for the sale, then why is it so important to get to the sale? Can't they pay full-price without taking a hit to their wallets? Or is that beside the point -- is it all about bragging rights, so you can tell your friends and acquaintances how little you paid for your winter sporting equipment?

Maybe they're taking vacation time. Now THAT'S a sad, sad thought.

Text Happy

I just had seriously the funniest conversation I have ever had with anyone via text-message. Here is the transcript (disclaimer: this is a joke. Neither of us were being at all serious):

Friend: How is your hair doing today?

Me: My hair is awful and my skin is worse. I look like a monster. Someone should just put me out of my misery now.

Me: Because if I can't be pretty, there's no point in continuing.

F: I agree. Beauty is most important. Wealth is a close second.

Me: Now that you mention it, maybe I can find someone wealthy to fund extensive plastic surgery procedures so I am no longer hideous ... Thanks!

F: I am rich and handsome which makes me the best.

Me: Can YOU spring for my Botox?

F: I guess so. I always have had a crush, just was never attracted. Now that I have the funds to mold you into a Barbie, I can't see a reason why I shouldn't.

Me: I just had a better idea ... If I cover every inch of skin with tattoos, no one will ever know how disgusting I am. And it's permanent!

F: Now that is a great idea. I wish your face were one tenth as pretty as your brain.

Least-Favorite Anniversary

I have a new one, and it's tomorrow. It will be exactly one year since I lost my father (and Sunday will be exactly one year since I found out I lost my father. Almost as bad, but not quite.).

I can't say it's been all bad. I've learned a lot about myself, and I no longer feel like I'm living in some twisted science-fiction novel where everything should be normal but isn't. Now everything is normal and feels like it shouldn't be. And eventually it will just be normal.

Since I no longer have him with me, I have to use what I know of his personality, his morals and values, to guess what he might be thinking about my life these days. Some of it he would disapprove of. I think most of it, though, he would appreciate.

I always thought I was remarkably spoiled for as old as I got before anything really awful happened to me. I don't necessarily wish for that mindset back -- like I said, I've learned a lot about myself and I feel like I am in a higher place now than would have been possible before all this happened.

So what have I learned?

*Don't lie to your family and don't lie to yourself. It will get you nowhere good. Be honest in critiquing and ascertaining your faults and your virtues. And don't allow others to tell you where you are or where you need to be. It might be worth it to listen to their advice, but the only one who really knows is you.

*Treasure and value the relationships you have. We really have no control over the last words we might say to a loved one -- make all your words count. Make all your actions count. You never know when it might end and you'll have nothing left but your memories. So make good ones!

*Be kind to yourself. It's okay to have heroes, but you will never be exactly like your heroes. And you are not supposed to be exactly like your heroes. Acknowledge and value your differences. Don't try to be something you're not.

*Therapy really works. If you feel like life is throwing things at you that you can't handle, consider it. It doesn't mean you're broken or crazy. It just means you know when you need some extra help.

*Savor the moment.

Starbucks Oracle

The oracle knoweth all.

Behold the Oracle's wisdom:

Personality type: Schmuck

You work your ass off because you're obsessed with money and status. You're always lying about having powerful friends. You wouldn't mind sleeping your way to the top but would miss getting to backstab coworkers along the way. All porn stars drink Triple Venti Nonfat Latte.

Also drinks: $15 martinis

Can also be found: Staring at self in mirror

Motion-Picture Perfect

I get to start doing movies at work! I'm so excited! Basically that means I get to edit all the corporate reviews that come in -- but I also get to attend press screenings, which is super-awesome, because I never get to go to the movies because of no time or money. But when it's free, and for work -- of course I can go!

I will also no longer have to submit my work through an editor before it gets to the copy editor.

Life is good. Now if I could only get that raise ...

New Outlet

I like my MySpace blog, but this seems to have more potential -- and options.

I've been alternating all day between frightfully busy and dismally bored. I hope, I hope, I hope my day is almost done. But it's hard to say ... I have to wait on other people before I can leave, which I have never had to do before (except in the restaurant business), and it's hard.

On top of that, I'm finding it difficult to maintain a positive attitude today. And attitude is everything. But I find myself becoming increasingly annoyed by trivial things. Like this morning when there were dishes in the sink, and I do not allow dishes in my sink. At least they were clean; that's how I had to look at it, since I was beginning to get upset at the fact that someone other than myself had done the dishes and left them in the sink.

Regardless. It's difficult to have so much invested in people over whom you have no control. Although I've figured out that really, we don't have much control over anything -- we just think we do ("we" meaning "homo sapiens"). I don't consider myself a controlling person, in general. But sometimes you just want to grab these pertinent people and shake some sense into them. It would be easier than tiptoeing around their feelings, lest you say something to which they take offense.

My brain is too full.