Easy Clean

I know. It's been far, far too long. I will blog incessantly till I'm caught up -- in between all the life stuff I got goin' on. Deal? Deal.

So, I just discovered the Easy Clean function on my blender...

1. WHY didn't someone tell me about this sooner?!

2. Why doesn't every blender have one?

I love it. It's the lowest setting, so once I make my morning breakfast smoothie (see previous blog for smoothie details if you are not familiar with why I would need to make a smoothie every morning for breakfast), I can just put some soap in the blender, add water, put it back on the stand, turn the dial to "Easy Clean" and hit On. And the blender cleans itself. All I have to do is rinse.

This is much more convenient than my previous method: Put soap in blender, fill up with hot water, let soak all day until dish-time comes along, then wash and dry with the regular dishes. I don't have a dishwasher, and my dish rack is kinda tiny; blenders take up a lot of space on those things.

I do, for the record, take apart and thoroughly clean my blender once a week. Just so you know.

Green Jasmine Mandarin Tea

... is really quite tasty.

I don't have a favorite type of tea. Green, white, black, oolong, whatever ... I love it all. Infusions, too. I couldn't even tell you whether I prefer infusions or teas. I love them all equally.

The only problem that I've found is, tea doesn't have the same snack-dunking capacity that coffee does. I would never dip a biscotti in my morning black tea. (Unless, possibly, it were strong English Breakfast tea with a splash of milk -- the only additive I ever have in any tea, and the only tea I drink with milk.)

This seems to be a major shortage in the industry. Someone should come up with tea snacks. I bet they have them already and I'm just clueless ... what exactly are crumpets, anyway? Those go with tea, I'm told.

Take Two

I felt pretty productive today, despite not rolling out of bed till 10:30. I uploaded my resume to Monster, applied for a couple more jobs and sent pitches (which I thought I had sent last night ... aw, sheet) through to my former supervisor.

I thought I'd make a list of some things I'm not going to miss about my old job:

* Getting paid less than the work I'm doing is worth.

* Data entry. God help me. I hated doing listings; I hated it so much, it's really indescribable. I would alternate how I dealt with it. Some weeks I would do them all as quickly as possible. Others I would do as little as I had to before Friday and save the rest for the next week. It was a monkey's job, as I used to say. And the search function on our website is so ridiculous that it brought my severe dislike of listings to the level of despair, because I felt it was utterly, utterly pointless. Which brings me to ...

* Our IT team. Some of them were nice. Most of them talked to me like I was an idiot and couldn't possibly understand their big, bad, hard job. When I called them with a problem, the response was invariably: You're not doing it right. It's not the software/website, it's you. And I knew it wasn't ... I'm smart enough to figure out my way around both a website and a software program.

* The disgusting coffee. And the bagels I wasn't allowed to eat.

* How every Friday at around 5 p.m., someone would go through the fridge and throw EVERYTHING out. And how if you were staying later than 5 on Friday, you had to remember to rescue your food. I brought dinner in once because I knew I'd be working late, and guess what happened to it? It got tossed. Along with other perfectly good food ... I lost more than one half of a just-cut-into avocado. Bastards.

That's about all I can come up with right now.

Slack-A-Lackin'

I promised a blog every day to one of my faithful readers ... so you'll get two today since I didn't manage one yesterday.

What have I been up to? Let's see. I drank a bunch of red wine on Monday night. Thankfully, I wasn't hungover yesterday. I did some light cleaning around the house and went into the office to tie up some loose ends. I do have a job there still proofreading and freelancing; it's not the same pay or benefits that I was getting, but heck, it's something.

I went and visited with my brothers, and I watched The Biggest Loser and the first part of Goonies. I also finished polishing up my resume and sent it to two different places.

Tonight I'm going to see The Color Purple on stage. I'm glad I got the invite before the layoff; I love the theater, and it'll be good to milk my going-for-free status to its last drop.

I've also been working out every day. I told one of my naysayer friends my plans for 2009 -- including getting totally ripped -- and she said, "I'll believe that when I see it." It didn't hurt my feelings; far from it. I actually like it when people challenge me like that. It makes it that much sweeter when I meet my goal. Take my buddy who told me, in October 2006, that I'd never be able to quit smoking cigarettes. I haven't even thought about touching one since. And it's so fun sending him the occasional "here's how much I haven't smoked, and here's how much money I've saved" e-mail to mess with him.

I'm finding it hard to balance my time, though. I'm not used to having a whole day to fill up. Which is why I'm going to get off the computer now and take my post-workout shower. At 2:12 p.m. instead of 9 a.m. Yeesh.

Post #100

It seems appropriate that my 100th Honey-Baked Ambs post should have some potentially life-changing subject matter.

I got laid off today. I was one of three people in the editorial department to get the axe. My position was eliminated chainwide, which means other people with my same job in many other cities across the country also got a (not nearly as sexy as it sounds) pink slip.

So, in honor of the centublog, here are my thoughts and feelings on getting laid off:

* I'm sad. I liked my job. I got paid pretty well for it. I got good benefits. I saw myself there for a few more years yet.

* I'm even more upset with G.W.B. than before. We had beef, sure: the war in Iraq, assault on women's rights and failing economy. But now, it's personal. I hate to even admit this, but I was thinking the other day that I'll kind of miss his borderline-retarded manner of speech and the stupid things he says. He's so entertaining. But come January 20, we will both be unemployed, yet he will be jetting back to his carbon footprint-free ranch, and I'll be that much closer to the end of my severance package. Fucker!

* I'm a little bit relieved that something really WAS going on today. I felt this weird vibe in the office today. I couldn't quite pinpoint its source, but I could definitely feel some strange energy, not quite right. There are a million and one reasons why I might have felt this -- I could, for example, have been subconsciously analyzing the actions of those people who knew already that my job was kaput. It doesn't matter; the point is, I KNEW there was something off. And what's even stranger: I kept getting flashes of visions of things like clearing out my desk and what it would be like if I lost my job. I had a strange feeling something like this was looming. So it's a relief to know that a) I wasn't just imagining things, and b) to actually know what was causing that feeling instead of continuing to experience it without any idea whether I'm paranoid or there really is something wrong. There is something wrong; this is it. Now I know.

* I'm also a little bit relieved, period. Don't get me wrong. See point one. I liked my job. But ... I have a lot of talent. I could do more with what I have. And this is going to give me time to evaluate my life. I would like time to study the myriad things in which I am interested. I would like time to write about those things, and maybe even get paid for them. I would like time to work on my fiction writing, and maybe even get published. I would like time to work out and stretch and take care of my body. Now, I have that time. Life is again an open book. I have options ... I already have a second job, as well as options at my old job to supplement my income. Benefits (read: health insurance) is going to be the biggest obstacle, but I can figure it out. I'm young and relatively healthy. I might even save money not paying into a full health plan.

In summary: I'm definitely bummed, but I'm also not oblivious to what this could mean in terms of improving my life. As my wise-beyond-her-years friend told me today: Life goes in cycles. The end of one only signifies the beginning of another. I have a feeling that in three, four, five years, I'll look over my shoulder at this moment and think, "Wow. If I hadn't lost my job, then I never would have met this, that and the other person, and I would never have done one, two or three." You get those turning points in your life that, in retrospect, seem inevitable, and you can see them for what they are: a door opening, an opportunity unfolding. I think that's what this is. I just need to stop being so damn emotional and crying over spilt milk -- or lost employment, as it were.

Resolve!

I usually don't keep my New Year's resolutions ... hell, I'm pretty slack about even making them some years ... but I try to improve different parts of myself every year. Actually, make that every month, week and day. And I think I'm doing better in all aspects of my life now than, say, five years ago.

I'm not making any specific resolutions this year ... or rather, I am making one overarching resolution. I got the idea from this daily mailing I get. It's called the Daily Om. They're usually pretty hippied-out ideas, like, "The next time you're washing dishes by hand, connect with the water flowing between your fingers, and thank it for its cleansing properties." And this one was equally hippied-out. It was about a man who was seeking enlightenment and he asked his teacher whether he should make New Year's resolutions. His teacher thought it was a grand idea and told him to make two lists: One of everything he ever wanted to do or change in his life, goals, hopes, dreams, etc. And one of the practical, everyday changes he could make to get to where he wanted to be.

He stayed up all night making his lists. The next day, he showed them to his teacher, the pared-down list first. The teacher read the list carefully, then crumpled it up and threw it over his shoulder. The student thought, "Aha! He's right! That list was a cop-out. THIS list is the one that matters." And he handed over the complete list. The teacher, again, studied the list carefully, then tore it into pieces.

The student was a bit upset, but then the teacher explained: This list is a list of things you "should" do. And there is only one thing you "should" do to reach and remain enlightened: LOVE.

Everyone all together: Aaaww.

But I started thinking about it, and it kind of makes sense. I already eat pretty well, fairly healthily, but lately I've been thinking about going back to vegetarianism (except fish, including shellfish; I like it too much to ever do that again). I want to see if it feels better, if I'll have more energy. It will take more effort, but it's an act of self-love.

As is everyone's perennial favorite resolution: Exercise. I'm fairly good about that, too, but I want to get RIPPED this year. Like nobody's bidness. I've never had a ripped body, and I also have never done some other things that I feel I want to do ... like run a 5K, or even a 10K, or even a marathon! I want to run a marathon someday. I want to not finish last in the marathon, also.

And it's also about love for others. Like my cat. I call her dready kitty, because she doesn't groom herself, her hair is superfine and mats like crazy, and she has had some serious dreadlocks for a couple of years now. In 2009, I am going to get rid of those dreads. I've been brushing her daily. It's going to take some time, because she is almost completely matted through, but I've already made progress around her neck and shoulders. That is showing love to my cat, who will once again become the fluffy little supermodel she is inside.

And there are others ... love for my family, love for my friends. I want to be better about keeping in touch with people. Love for my spirit; continuing to spend some time every day just working on my relationship with the universe.

Yeah. I'm feeling love. I think I'm going to be journaling, too, to keep track of my progress. That always helps.

Oh, yes, and how was New York? It was all right. Fun, exciting, grand. But also full of concrete, smelly and dirty. I'm not a city girl. I learned that about myself on this vacation. Future vacations will be spent communing with nature instead of with urine-smelling subways.

Get On The Bus

I'm sitting on the Fung Wah bus (aka Chinese bus) to New York. It's only $15 per person so we thought it would be better than the train, although for that price, I have to admit I was kind of expecting a bus with chickens in crates interspersed along the ceiling, and let's not forget uncomfortable, cramped seats.

I'm pleasantly surprised to find it's more like a Greyhound. It is crowded; D and I are sitting across from each other. He's sleeping. He must be really tired; normally he can't sleep in moving vehicles.

I was particularly proud of us for making our bus on time. I thought I had the transit system figured out and we had plenty of time, but the train stop by Rachel's house is an outbound only, when we wanted inbound. We actually managed to walk to the next train station, catch the train and walk to the bus station (stopping along the way for some quick breakfast a la Dunkin' Donuts). And we made it!

Now for New Year's in New York. Should be interesting...

Killing Time

I'm leaving for my Boston/NYC trip at 1 a.m. tomorrow morning.

The house has been cleaned and prepped for the housesitter.

I am packed, except for a few last-minute things I'll throw in before I leave -- like my toothbrush. I'm planning on sleeping through the flight, so I'm sure I'll want to brush my teeth before I leave. Better not forget that!

Other than that ... I'm kinda bored. Waiting for said housesitter to get here so we can maybe grab some dinner and then chill till it's time to leave!

Christmas Eve

I just got back from my mom's house; we did Christmas tonight instead of tomorrow because she has to work.

And it was nice. We ate dinner; Mom and I poured ourselves some wine; and we did the traditional present-opening in a circle. I think my fam liked the gifts I got for them, and they definitely hooked me up with some stuff I didn't know I needed until I had it.

But. It seemed strange ... stranger than it was last year, maybe, even. My dad wasn't there keeping track of whose turn it was and snapping pictures (from which I hid incessantly ... I mean, honestly, who takes a picture on Christmas morning when you've all just rolled out of bed? Well, lots of people, probably. I guess I don't have much of a point, but I am notorious in my family for hating/refusing to have my picture taken.).

I never really noticed before that it was different on the holidays after a loved one dies. To me it seemed like any other day to begin with -- I miss him every day; I think about him every day. This was something more. Maybe it takes longer for your brain (or your emotions) to register that someone's not around during a time of year when people really value and cherish the connections between them.

There's a wonderful image in The Power of One (Bryce Courtenay; awesome read if you ever get the chance, way better than the movie) where the author talks about loneliness birds flying into his chest -- his heart -- and laying stone eggs. Kathy and I would talk about the physical effects of depression. When people use phrases like "it's weighing me down," or "it broke my heart," those words make perfect sense to me. I think you feel it to some extent when you break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend or get in an argument with someone or are disappointed in yourself. I don't think most people realize how severe those feelings can seem when something really bad (damaging, traumatic, life-altering, unfixable) happens. It's crippling.

I'm not that sad. I'm functioning still. But there is definitely a stone egg or two incubating (or, more probably, failing to incubate ... that would make more sense) in my chest.

I'll be okay. It was just sad.

Thoughts on Textese

I think I am the last person in the world who still spells out "you" while text-messaging. Abbreviations bother me. And it bothers me even more that textese has crept into the common vernacular ... and when I say common vernacular, I mean primarily e-mail and letters. I've gotten e-mails before from people wanting to write for me, but when they type: "i really want to write 4 u," it kind of makes me think that maybe they shouldn't be given any assignments at, you know, a newspaper.

That being said, I do understand that textese allows the texter to text faster, thus increasing the speed of communication. So the sacrifice of spelling and grammar seems to be a small price to pay for the reward of more efficient communication ... but I read about a study the other day (which, of course, I now can't find) that confirmed textese makes it easier on the texter ... but the textee takes longer to read textese than he or she would ordinarily take to read a normally written sentence.

Take these as an example:

"R U going 4 coffee w/ Emily 2day?"

"Are you going for coffee with Emily today?"

Most people take longer to process the first sentence than the second, even though it's shorter; this is because when we learned to read, we learned on full sentences. Maybe that will change as the next generations grow up with cell phones in their hand instead of Dr. Seuss.

In any event. I don't like textese. I think it has something to do with my job as a spelling/grammar policeperson of sorts.

Biggest Winner

Last night, Michelle won the Biggest Loser competition. I was so happy for her -- especially because I really, really, REALLY didn't want either Heba or Vicki to win. Those two connivers were so manipulative and almost had the final three down to what they wanted ... ha, ha, America decided, and Heba didn't get to be in the final three. Which was kinda funny, because last week I was on pins and needles ... I knew that we would get to vote the third contestant in because I'd been watching the commercials, and I was ready to flood NBC with votes for Michelle. But then it came down to Ed and Heba. Heba said, "Vote for me." Ed said, "Vote for Heba."

And you know who America decided to send into the final three, by a landslide decision of 85 percent? Ed.

I didn't even bother voting, because I was just happy Michelle got into the final three ... and I also thought that, as bitchy and rude as Heba was throughout the season, it might make her pretty sad if she realized that most of America hates her. So I didn't go down that road. But plenty of other people did!

And really, what I think did it for Michelle is her youth. Ed and Vicki didn't have a chance against her once she really started going. She looks hawt. I'm so happy for her!

And ... the new season starts January 6. This is just perfect as far as I'm concerned: I'm working for the next week (about), then I get time off for Christmas, then I'm going on vacation, and when I get back, a brand-new season will be all ready for me to watch. Thanks, NBC!

All I can report is a size ten.

You know ... I don't like George W. Bush as President. In fact, I would argue he's the worst President in the history of the United States. The only other President you could even make a case for is Andrew Jackson (way to almost wipe out an entire race of people, AJ).

But I have to admire the man's ability to make a joke -- immediately, to boot (ha! ha! I did it, too!) -- when an Iraqi journalist throws two shoes at his head.

"Who throws a shoe?! Honestly!"

Marilyn Musgrave Says Thank-You

Ugh.

So, here's the story: Marilyn Musgrave was a Congress representative who had a very protracted and messy battle to retain her seat in November, airing a bunch of attack ads against her opponent. She lost. I voted against her; personally, anyone who says that gay marriage will lead to people marrying their dogs will never, ever get my vote.

She's made national news because she refused to concede -- or to call and congratulate her opponent. Sulk, sulk, sulk. Poor Marilyn. Those mean ol' liberals and gay-lovers really effed you up.

But today, she wrote an opinion column for the Denver Post, basically saying how great it was to serve Colorado, how she's not sorry for being a rabid homophobe, anti-choice and candidate for Worst Woman Ever, and how she refused to change her principles in order to win an election.

Well done, Marilyn.

The funny thing is the comments behind the story. She had one comment supporting her, everyone else basically said, "Okay, so, 'Thanks, Colorado?' Well, you're welcome. Don't let the door hit you on the way out. We won't miss you."

And as far as I know, she still hasn't conceded or congratulated her opponent.

I mean, really. One commenter said it best, and I'll paraphrase: Isn't it awesome how these wholesome, let's-keep-things-the-same-and-never-change-them, I'm-Joe-the-Plumber-and-Suzie-Sixpack-mixed-up-in-one conservatives can't even manage basic manners, like saying "congratulations?"

She is a douchenugget. I, for one, won't miss her -- and neither will the rest of her district, apparently, because she lost in a landslide.

And this is a complete non sequitor, but every time I hear the name "Marilyn Musgrave," I think of a muskrat. A rabid, greasy, disgusting, diseased muskrat. That is her legacy in my brain.

Wilde Times

It's been a while (sorry, Jocelyn!), but I was compelled to write when I turned on my radio to Alice 105.9 for the first time in several months this morning and it was the morning show with "BJ and Howie." And I thought, "what happened to Jennifer?" So I listened for a few minutes and sure enough, they had changed all the intros around to just list BJ and Howie. So when I got to work, I looked up Jennifer Wilde's MySpace page to see what the deal was and found that she had been a victim of downsizing.

Which, I think, is pretty freakin' lame. Her blog said that her contract was up and she'd expected to negotiate a new one, but that didn't happen; they just let her go. And the reason why this is lame is because Jennifer was the best out of the three hosts on that morning show. I used to listen to Wilde on Hollywood when I caught it in the mornings, and really anytime she was talking as opposed to when BJ or Howie are talking. I hold a serious dislike for one of those two -- either BJ or Howie, I'm not sure which, because I usually change the station when either of them is talking. But one of them is always going on about how his wife essentially is not allowed to do anything -- have male friends, go out by herself, etc. That's the path to divorce, according to BJ/Howie. I'm just waiting for his wife to meet someone new (less anal and controlling) in the checkout line at the grocery store.

Alice, you had a strong morning crew, that was certain. And I will still listen to Slacker & Steve on my drive home when they're talking and/or taking calls -- but your music sucks. By getting rid of Jennifer, you have lost 50 percent of my listenership. Good job.